In a Rolling Stone profile earlier this year, Harry Styles shocked and teased the world by saying his entire new album was about “having sex and feeling sad.” As a girl who lives on planet Earth, I was thrilled about this news, because it meant I was about to get both horny Harry songs and sad Harry songs. But now that the album is out, the question is, does that description hold up?
That’s why I decided to go through all of Fine Line, song by song, to decide which category each track falls into: sex or sadness. Look, I know it’s in poor taste to reduce an entire album to being about two things, but for the sake of this exercise, we’re doing it! Sorry! He said it, not us. Without further ado....
Internal Server Error
The server encountered an internal error and was unable to complete your request. Either the server is overloaded or there is an error in the application.
The verdict: It’s about sex. Definitely.
Look, you’ve probably heard the rumors by now, but this song is
maybe definitely about eating someone out. If Twitter says it, then it must be true!
The verdict: Duh, it’s about sex. Specifically, oral sex.
This song is about *wanting* to love someone who maybe doesn’t love him back, which is inherently a sad thing. “You don’t have to say you love me / You don’t have to say nothing / You don’t have to say you’re mine.”
The verdict: We’re feeling v sad about this one.
Have you SEEN the video for this song? It’s literally an orgy. I don’t know what else you need to know.
The verdict: sex, GROUP sex.
Any song in which you sample your ex-girlfriend’s voicemail, in French, is super f*cking sad. And the lyrics are even more depressing: “Don’t you call him ‘baby’ / We’re not talking lately / Don’t you call him what you used to call me / I, I just miss, I just miss your accent and your friends / Did you know I still talk to them?” RIP my heart out, Harry, SERIOUSLY.
The verdict: This is PURE sad boi.
Of all the songs on this album, this is going to be the one you listen to when you need to absolutely sob about your ex-boyfriend. The lyrics are as follows: “I’m in my bed / And you’re not here / And there’s no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands / Forget what I said / It’s not what I meant / And I can’t take it back / I can’t unpack the baggage you left.”
The verdict: It’s so sad I’m a puddle of tears.
“To Be So Lonely”
I’m getting the vibe that Harry is...lonely or something? Considering how much he talks about being alone on this album??? IDK! He sings, “Don’t call me ‘baby’ again / You’ve got your reasons / I know that you’re trying to be friends / I know you mean it / Don’t call me ‘baby’ again / It’s hard for me to go home / Be so lonely.” Brutal.
The verdict: sad. VERY sad.
The thing about “She” is that it’s about a girl who lives purely in his dreams. Depending on the dirtiness of those dreams, that could mean it’s either totally sexual or totally sad. We’re calling this one a toss-up.
The verdict: sexy OR sad, depending on how dirty your mind is.
“Sunflower, Vol. 6”
Look, he says the phrase “Let me inside” in this song, which, if you ask me, is inherently dirty. “Let me inside / I wanna get to know you / I couldn’t want you any more / Kiss in the kitchen like it’s a dance floor / I couldn’t want you any more.”
The verdict: SEX.
“Canyon Moon” is one of two songs on the album that really ruin the “sex or sadness” thing. It’s about going home, reliving memories from the past, etc., etc. But it’s pretty upbeat and fun. If this is supposed to be a downer song, it’s not doing a very good job!!
The verdict: neither, unfortunately.
“Treat People With Kindness”
This is a tricky one because it’s about being nice to other people. That’s kinda sexy?? I guess? But it’s also not overtly about sex. And the idea of being nice to other people would theoretically be a happy thing, right?
The verdict: UGH. NEITHER.
Harry closes out his sophomore album with this absolute bummer of a song that will be perfect for when you need to stare out the window of your car while pretending to be in a music video. I’m not saying it’s a bad song—quite the opposite—but it is certainly no “Uptown Funk”–type jam.
The verdict: v, v sad.