After months of seeing teaser photos of Timothée Chalamet in a very questionable bowl cut, The King
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But while watching, I couldn’t shake one feeling: The King is basically like if Game of Thrones got a movie. The first half has so much political scheming, you half expect Tyrion and Cersei Lannister to pop out, and the second hour is essentially “Battle of the Bastards,” with Timmy filling in as Jon Snow.
Look, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. Two hours of Timmy-infused Thrones-style action is pretty much my kink, but the parallels are so freaky, they’re hard to ignore. I’m here to present you with the receipts for the undeniable fact that Timothée’s King Henry and Kit Harington’s Jon Snow are literally the same person.
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They both really, really don’t want to be king.
The whole premise of The King is that Hal (King Henry) never wanted to be king in the first place. Why rule England when you can get blackout every night and hook up with random girls whose names you don’t even know? But then he has to be king, which sucks, and he’s not altogether thrilled about it.
As you know if you’ve watched a single Thrones episode, Jon was very, very clear about the fact that he didn’t want the Iron Throne. Wanted nothing to do with it! Kinda like King Henry over here. I legit thought Hal was going to say “I don’t want it” at some point during the movie.
They should definitely not be that good in a battle situation.
Let’s get one thing straight: Kit is short and Timothée is scrawny. As it stands, neither of these dudes should be able to walk into a battle scenario and dominate the way we’re supposed to believe they do. They shouldn’t even be able to carry one of these heavy swords. I mean....
Come on. Let’s get serious, folks.
Their love interests? Girls who are legit their enemies.
Jon fell in love with legit the one girl he wasn’t supposed to, who was his family’s sworn enemy and also his AUNT, and Hal ends up with the daughter of the King of France, the country he just conquered. How? HOW?
Their best friends are a little bit rough around the edges.
We’re talking about Tormund and Falstaff. While great at planning battles ’n’ sh*t, the two guys on BFF duty here are a little...rough. We’ll forgive them, though, because they’re incredibly loyal. Like, would-die-for-them loyal.
They’re both high-key broody.
Jon’s entire shtick is that he’s pretty much always sad about something. And Hal is also pretty unhappy ALL the time. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, etc. So they make the same sad boi face. It looks like this:
Brow position is exactly the same and very, very weary.
Last, but certainly not least, their Hair! Is! Beautiful!
Temporary bowl cuts aside, these two men have seriously luscious locks. The proof:
10/10 would run my fingers through.
Hal = Jon and Jon = Hal, and no one, especially not me, is mad about that.